Society and the media often portray a misleading concept that men are intuitively able to meet the needs of women based on idealistic expectations. This false premise has resulted in many disappointed women and many frustrated men.
Most people in relationships have some level of expectation. For example, a wife may expect her husband to nurture and protect her, giving her a sense of security. A husband may expect his wife to be supportive, sexy and a good cook. Usually, however, both fall way short of achieving what the other one expects, which can result in disillusionment and irritation.
A young woman recently broke up with her boyfriend because he was verbally abusive to her, disrespecting her and putting her down. Although she cared about him deeply, she realized he was not going to be what she expected--a loving, considerate and caring man. Because of his own insecurities, coupled with low self-esteem and a history of abuse, he could not meet her expectations. She realized that she deserved better and decided to accept the reality that he was not the individual she wanted in her life.
One reason for the disappointment experienced in relationships is that every man and woman is first an individual and not the "role" assigned to them. Every person is different and comes into the relationship with his or her own personality style, flaws and challenges. When people fail to recognize that fact and place expectations on someone based on what THEY feel, think or need, it will inevitably lead to frustration.
A more effective approach to having your expectations met in a relationship is to understand the individual first. Learn more about the man himself--his history, family and background. If he has not had the nurturing, teaching or experience in what you want him to give to you, he most likely will not be able to give you what you expect from him.
Knowing this may help you better understand what role he can or cannot fulfill before you invest more time and energy into the relationship. It is also important to know what you really want and need from this person, which can help you keep from wasting his time as well.
© 2006 Heart Tones
Gloria Thomas Anderson, MSW
Columnist of: Inspiring Insights For Your Soul and Spirit!
www.hearttones.com
Gloria Thomas Anderson, MSW, is a motivational speaker and writer, a diversity trainer, and a professional social worker who inspires others to harness the power within themselves to create positive change in their lives. Gloria has shared her wisdom and insight on real life issues--Purpose, Relationships, and Spirituality--with hundreds of organizations and groups, including the Fellowship of Professional Women, The Executive Women in Government, Women that Soar, Women's Aglow, and Training For Excellence, Inc.
Her publication, "What Y'all Gon' Do With Me?-The African-American Spiritual and Ethical Guide to End of Life Care" was recently presented at the International First North American Spirituality and Social Work Conference, in Waterloo, Canada and published in "The Society for Spirituality and Social Work Forum". She has also received several awards and grants toward her research. Gloria is the author of the popular self-help book, Passion For Your Purpose--Discovering Peace, Direction and Balance In Your Life and columnist of Inspiring Insights For Your Soul and Spirit
Kamis, 30 November 2017
Rabu, 15 November 2017
Women Take the Reins Over Finances and Education
People claim our world is dominated by men, but is this really true? The role of women is progressing rapidly in many important areas, including financial independence and scholastic achievement. We need look no further than a few recently published studies to see evidence of female domination in these key arenas. According to a report by the American Council on Education, women comprise about 57% of enrollees at American Colleges. The New York Times cites this research in an article entitled "The New Math on Campus," and gives three explanations:
* Women have a lower drop out rate
* Women tend to achieve higher grades
* A majority of minority and low-income students are women
Experts in the field are beginning to notice the financial savvy of women. 95% of women claim that they are making or influencing the important financial decisions in the homes, according to "Financial Experience & Behaviors Among Women," a survey of 1250 female Americans conducted by that giant of life insurance and asset management Prudential Financial.
Furthermore, this past week saw the publication of Wells Fargo's "6th Annual Retirement Fitness Survey," which pointed to the fact that while women about worried about the security of the retirement, they are still motivated to act to improve the situation. Nevertheless, more than half of of the participants are confident they will have saved enough to "live the life they want" in retirement. The explosion of the Internet has contributed to this phenomenon as well. Websites like The Women's Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org) are dedicated to helping women pursue their financial independence through education. Inspired by feminist legend Gloria Steinem's well known phrase "Every Woman Need a Wife,' this site includes features like "It's never too early to start planning for your retirement."
Other sites use humor to to put across important information, including "Girls Just Wanna Have Funds" (inspired by Cindy Lauper's well known ode to feminine fun), catering to "women who value budgeting, investing and frugality." Founded by the psychotherapist Susan Gernhart, this entertaining yet informative site publishes articles including "Women And Life Insurance: 4 Reasons Why We Need To Be Prepared For The Inevitable." This sobering piece reminds us of the importance of taking the initiative and ensuring that our spouses purchase life insurance, all in a flowing and easy to read style.
Indeed, life is short, but we live in exciting times. The exponential rise of women's power in the 21st century should give us enormous pride. As Ms. Gernhart says: "we're armed with a positive net worth and not afraid to flaunt it while breaking financial ceilings one stiletto at a time." You GO girl!
* Women have a lower drop out rate
* Women tend to achieve higher grades
* A majority of minority and low-income students are women
Experts in the field are beginning to notice the financial savvy of women. 95% of women claim that they are making or influencing the important financial decisions in the homes, according to "Financial Experience & Behaviors Among Women," a survey of 1250 female Americans conducted by that giant of life insurance and asset management Prudential Financial.
Furthermore, this past week saw the publication of Wells Fargo's "6th Annual Retirement Fitness Survey," which pointed to the fact that while women about worried about the security of the retirement, they are still motivated to act to improve the situation. Nevertheless, more than half of of the participants are confident they will have saved enough to "live the life they want" in retirement. The explosion of the Internet has contributed to this phenomenon as well. Websites like The Women's Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org) are dedicated to helping women pursue their financial independence through education. Inspired by feminist legend Gloria Steinem's well known phrase "Every Woman Need a Wife,' this site includes features like "It's never too early to start planning for your retirement."
Other sites use humor to to put across important information, including "Girls Just Wanna Have Funds" (inspired by Cindy Lauper's well known ode to feminine fun), catering to "women who value budgeting, investing and frugality." Founded by the psychotherapist Susan Gernhart, this entertaining yet informative site publishes articles including "Women And Life Insurance: 4 Reasons Why We Need To Be Prepared For The Inevitable." This sobering piece reminds us of the importance of taking the initiative and ensuring that our spouses purchase life insurance, all in a flowing and easy to read style.
Indeed, life is short, but we live in exciting times. The exponential rise of women's power in the 21st century should give us enormous pride. As Ms. Gernhart says: "we're armed with a positive net worth and not afraid to flaunt it while breaking financial ceilings one stiletto at a time." You GO girl!
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